⚠️ Note to reader: this article discusses challenging topics including male violence. If you are affected by any of the issues discussed here you may find these links useful.
I make no secret of the fact I’ve been subjected to male violence.
In recent years, I’ve talked about this more openly, also mentioning it briefly in my book Answers In the Dark and the significant impact it had on me.
In the last couple of years, I’ve spoken specifically about why we need to have this conversation and expanded my research to look at the harms of male supre macy. I’ve talked about why we need change that lasts, encouraging meaningful dialogue in our communities – which includes our workplaces – to help create a safer world. It hasn’t always been easy; there is a natural resistance to change, but more so among those driven by power, dominance and control, and who benefit from the privilege their current comfort zones maintain. This has particularly shown up on social media.
The good news is, most people I speak with acknowledge we need this harm to end – because it affects all of us, including men. However, there is an obvious need for insight or awareness on the topic, like how it starts – which is long before we think it does – what it looks like and what we might try to help it stop.
If you follow me on Twitter you’ll know I’ve been trying to have this conversation for a long time. You’ll know that I’ve written thread after thread with my thoughts on this (as well as blogs on my own website), particularly around misogyny and what this can look like, and I decided to bring it all together under “one roof”.
This is why I created If We Act.
An Anti-Violence ‘Movement’
If We Act is an anti-violence ‘movement’ that promotes Collective Care and Upstandership, placing a particular focus on workplaces showing a social responsibility to end hate and harms in our community. The area I have chosen to focus on is specific to my training and lived experience of domestic abuse. If We Act aims to help inform conversations in order to address escalating hate, particularly towards women (hence the launch on International Women’s Day). It’s a call to action for a shift in awareness, to bring about meaningful change.
That’s not to say this harm only affects women; we know that men and non binary people are also affected by male violence and this is why If We Act is a movement that everyone can support if they care about peace, at work, at home and our wider communities. You can follow on social media (see buttons below) or read any number of articles I’ve written on the If We Act website about why I think this matters and what might help. You can also ‘pledge‘ (vote) for an act or intention you’ll make to support the movement (No money asked for or required).
There are of course many causes which are close to each of our hearts and this is just one that may resonate with some; it won’t be for everyone – it may well make some uncomfortable. I would encourage anyone to find healthy ways to channel what matters to them, in a way that’s constructive, healthy, meaningful – and safe – for us all. If We Act is the area I am choosing to focus on, based on my knowledge and experience, alongside helping people find their mojo and get their sparkle back after a difficult time in their lives – because I believe it’s all connected. For me, working to end male violence against women and girls/children (MVAWG/C) is now my life’s work.
Whichever path you take going forward, may it bring peace and a safer world for all of us.
Visit If We Act.
©️ Delphi Ellis 2023
Delphi Ellis 